Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
