Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
