Im at strip club and am horny
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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