I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
