you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
