would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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