Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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