He kissed a someone with a penis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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