he wants to bone in the snuggie
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
