Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
