this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
