well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
