she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
