He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
