He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
