we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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