They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
