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I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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