So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
