Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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