We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
