And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
