North Korea, Best Korea!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
organizing the empties. That sober.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
