I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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