i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
