I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
sex in a hospital.. check
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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