she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
