Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That accounts for only three of the penises
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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