She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
