Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
