i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
