So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
