looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
