she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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