I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
