I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
