...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
