Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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