If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
