my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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