even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
