kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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