the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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