you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
