A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
