i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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