This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
