why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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