they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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