I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
