I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize