4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
