They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
